My eyes widen in a combination of disbelief and horror. “I got two thumbs as well, though,” he continues. “And I think … around nine toes. Then again, I only started this job three days ago.”

We’re about to embark with Basin Landing, an operation conducting airboat swamp tours on the Atchafalaya Basin since 1999. Nick, far from having been on the job for a matter of days, represents the second generation of this family-owned business.

Airboats are ideally designed for swamp tours, featuring a flat bottom, plus a motor and propeller that sit above the water, allowing them to navigate extremely shallow areas of the watery Louisiana landscape.

Banish thoughts of serene sailing: airboats are as noisy as they come, and Nick equips us with ear protection headphones before setting off – in search of alligators, hence my quizzing of his digit count. “Y’all keep your arms and legs inside the boat, now,” he cautions. “Otherwise …” His shrug makes finishing the sentence unnecessary.

There’s little sense of what lies in those impenetrable depths but, as Nick’s shrug signifies, you can be sure it’s not friendly. Why else did Shrek live in a swamp? Everyone knows that he was as cantankerous and curmudgeonly as a creature can be.

But reframe your thoughts, because swamps – or wetlands, as they are more appealingly known – are places of immense beauty.

As we roar through the Atchafalaya Basin in Louisiana – the largest swamp in the United States – we pass jagged cypress trunks, rising from the dark waters like wooden tombstones. Others still bear their aromatic leaves, and dark markings on the wood display previous water levels.

Occasionally, a great blue heron, perched atop one of the truncated trees, objects to the roar of the airboat and takes flight, its wingspan, as wide as 2 metres, startling to witness.

Baby got back! They’re obviously accustomed to Nick’s presence, allowing him to scoop water from the paddle over their backs, in the way that a dog might allow its chin to be tickled.

Significantly, from a responsible tourism point of view, I see none of the antics I’ve seen on other ‘gator spotting tours, where the reptiles are encouraged to leap into the air in pursuit of high-dangling bait, all for the sake of a photo opp.

Indeed, there’s little need to coax the alligators to perform; their natural antics are entertaining enough. We watch two come snout to snout and, with an elegant flick of the tail, disdainfully turn their backs on one another. Others aren’t quite as cool in their contempt for their peers, gnashing angrily on approach. Over on the bank, an adult 10-footer basks in the sun: he’s seen it all before and can’t be bothered to get involved. Leave the nippers – literally – to it.

Over 200 species of bird – some perennial, some migratory –  may be spotted here, including egrets, ibis, anhinga and cormorants.

Spanish moss – which, incidentally, is neither Spanish, nor moss – hangs, Blair-Witch-like, from the cyprus trees. It’s so named because it’s reminiscent of the beards of Spanish conquistadors.

Make tracks for Cypress Island Reserve, where a seasonal (autumn to spring) track allows exploration of the area on foot.

Although part of a separate watershed, one fed by saltwater from the Gulf of Mexico and freshwater from surrounding rivers rather than the Mississippi River, alligators are also present in Northshore.

This area is located in the St. Tammany Parish, around 40 minutes from New Orleans, but the clearer waters might make Lake Pontchartrain more palatable for some outdoor enthusiasts.

That’s not to mention the many opportunities for non-water-based activities, including biking and hiking.

While kayaking and paddleboarding are on offer for those who prefer a more tranquil and singular experience of being on the water than an airboat allows.

Cheek-by-jowl with Lake Pontchartrain, Fontainebleau State Park ticks all the boxes for anyone who prefers to see, rather than be on, the water. Covering 2,800 acres, there’s a sandy beach, as well as a disused railway line that’s been converted for cyclists and hikers, with signs en route giving intel on what you’re seeing.

Campsites and waterfront cabins are available for those who wish to stay just a little bit longer, and boats are available for hire if the siren song of the water is irresistible.